yup, finally i'm eighteen now. this morning i wasnt feeling happy at all. why should i be sad on my birthday? i just don't know why. my mood is the same as those sad ballads. just eff it. something is just not right, why and  how i dont know. work sucked today. i almost have to get my pay cut off twenty bucks. i've forgot bout the extras a customer should pay, gave extra books, took the wrong amount of change, almost took the wrong books. why is it so? feeling ever so down. those birthday wishes dont make sense to me today. i wish i was back in school doing the things i like. i really missed everyone. its been so different since life then ended.
it was just an excuse to remind a friend of mine for a birthday meal, i wanted to have a break from this depression from going on. in reality, i just want something simple like watching a movie and someone to talk to. so probly if i breakdown,it doesnt have to be a major depression. really dont want to stay this way. working hasnt made any difference, its just a barrier stopping me from thinking.
i just need my good friends for a short time. and i'll be fine (: