Nothing in this world.

i'm kinda sluggish sometimes.

Date: Sunday, January 1, 2012 || Time: 8:44 AM

sometimes, you just need to get a getaway. they nag you day in day out. okay, now you got a job (boring one) but you'll still come home to an empty room. this is really kinda too quiet sometimes. you would wanna do this or that but in reality think again. no one knows where you are, even your best friends whom you've known for years dont seem to know it all. the first and last time any of your friends came, it makes no difference cause apparently someone came to be with someone and used my invitation as an opportunity. sigh, does love really matter that much to you? so real, thinking now i'm just a day away from being officially eighteen. thinking thinking & thinking. i'm just feeling a lil down with no heck of a reason. missing the old times i've had last year,sad that its gone. but i know i'll feel better if i get to see someone's smile right now. just not what fate has in mind for me yet. please tell me something to make me smile again like a child. so many things in my mind right now, so many thoughts that i couldnt even trust myself to think. feeling like things have gone so far away. just hoping to find a way to get back on the road, so far the new job is kinda dull though and really really new for me. hmm, i just want to have my life back in a way not even my friends could forget me. i tried cheering myself up, but failed.

is it because i'm a very quiet person that no one would remember what they promised thinking i would shut my mouth bout it?
tried contacting friends, but it seems our conversations wouldnt go more than ten words. just Hello, How are you, oh, uhm ,ah, i see, ok, bye and fake smileys. mostly. how bad comunication is. eg ; good friend going overseas, promised to meet up after her papers are done, but now she totally forgot it like i didnt exist. guess some famous-girl-forgets-quiet-friend thing does happen to me all the time.i'll get use to it. so many not having the time to do things together. i wonder if i could survive this 3 months?

i need to feel secured,not lost.